Slim and I got engaged seven weeks ago. I suspected it was going to happen as it was our six month anniversary that weekend and he’s not the type to let a romantic slip by without some kind of celebration. He did an amazing job. Kidnapped me from work, whisked me off to a posh hotel where I was pampered before we went to dinner. And oh what a meal it was, besides Slim dropping to one knee and popping the question (tears and all) just before dessert, it was a three Michelin star restaurant that I’d only ever dreamed about going to. Yeah… all round special night.

I gave myself the weekend to bask in the newly engaged glow. I let it wash over me, wrap me in its promises of wedding dress fittings and flower arrangements and engagement parties. As we drove towards Broadstairs that weekend I daydreamed about designing our invitations. Should we use the more formal style or be more casual? Should we be posh and have them printed at Smythson, fussed over while sipping Earl Grey? So much to do…

In the end it’s all been a little bit of everything really. To date the church, photographer, dinner reception and transportation have all been booked. Wedding insurance too. Last weekend I found a dress that I can afford and am absolutely in love with. It’s the wedding we want though not necessarily our dream wedding which would have cost us a fortune, These are unstable times and I’d rather have a roof over our heads than a pile of slick wedding photos. Slim’s been amazing, tolerating my daily, sometimes hourly changes to this or that. He calms, reassures and reminds me to get the stick out of my ass when necessary. I love him.

Sometimes I look at him and think “Is this what love is supposed to feel like?” I suppose I question it as all my previous relationships have been fraught with doubt and worry and anxiety. For me, that’s what being in love was supposed to feel like. I knew nothing else. Now I’m with a man that brings calm and joy to my life. He’s a goof ball, overly romantic and has optimism to spare but these are the things I need. Seeing him always brings a smile to my face even when he makes me cross. I can be completely silly and it’s ok. I can be a raging bitch and it’s ok. I’ve never had this before. So, sometimes I look at him and I think… but then I can’t imagine my life without him and I worry about losing him and it makes me cry so I hide my tears in a yawn and he rubs my neck and tells me I work too hard.

My Slim and I are going to be married and I wouldn’t change that for all the tea in China.